Enjoying your body is your birthright and should be something that comes naturally to us all. Unfortunately most of us are brought up in a culture where things such as pleasure are often overlooked or ignored, especially if it is to do with pleasuring yourself sexually.
At Sinsin’s we are firm believers in the whole body approach to self pleasure and to pleasuring others, meaning the focus isn’t just on the genital region it is on the body and mind as a whole, as one large erogenous zone!
To get the best out of your own body and to therefore let other people know how to help you (or to do it for you) the best place to start is by learning about your own personal bodymap. Everyone is different, so there are no standard rules; some people love receiving a gentle massage, some prefer firm handling, some prefer their nipples to be kissed, others can’t bear the thought of their nipples even being touched. The list is endless and ever-changing.
The most highly erogenous zones for Men are as follows:
The Penis
As you know the penis is the main focal point for male sexual pleasure. It comes in all shapes and sizes, but it’s what you do with it that counts… give me quality over quantity any day! There’s so much to say about the penis, so we won’t go into too much detail here – check out our book section for more info. But we will briefly point out the most important bits and what you can do to enhance their pleasure potential
The glans is the bulbous head of the penis – it is full of nerve endings, so can be fairly sensitive. Some men love this area to be gently stimulated, others like it firm, whilst others don’t like it at all. If the foreskin has been removed (circumcision) the sensitivity can be somewhat muted compared to a non-circumcised penis due to a more constant friction on the sensitive areas from clothing etc
The shaft of the penis is the firm body of the erection; increased blood-flow to the area during arousal enables the erection to fulfil its potential – this is why if you are taking medication of any sort your erection capability may decrease due to the blood flow being inhibited. Some men like gentle touches on their shaft whilst others like firm handling. The use of lubes greatly increases enjoyment, see below. Many toys are available for the penis, especially cock-rings. See our ‘Essential Guide to Cock Rings’ for more info.
The Scrotum (or Testicles)
When erection occurs the testicles (or ball-sack) tighten up and become firm and engorged due to the increased blood flow from arousal. Many men like their testicles being gently but firmly pulled.
The Perineum
This is the ridged area of skin between the testicles and the anus. It is a very sensual area – one which creates sensations that most men find irresistible. Applying vibrations to this area can be very satisfying, although keep them on slow otherwise it can be too tickly. This area is closely linked to the Prostate Gland (see below for details) which is why it is so pleasurable when touched.
The Buttocks and Anus
The buttocks are a definite bundle of fun! Rub them, wobble them, slap them, tickle them, kiss them, anything you like! Just give it a go. Spanking enthusiasts extol the virtues of the bottom, maintaining that a good hiding is the most exhilarating thing ever… try it for yourself and let us know!
The anus/rectum is a very arousing place for a lot of people. There are many nerve endings situated in the anus making it a very sensitive and pleasurable place to explore. Try using fingers, toys or a penis – just make sure you use plenty of lube at all times as the rectum doesn’t produce any natural lubrication. Gently stroke around the edge to start with, only inserting once the muscle is relaxed and lube has been applied. How far in you go and with what size toy you use is up to you, but we recommend starting very small, very slow and fairly shallow until the receiver is used to it. See our ‘Essential Guide to Anal Play’ for more detailed info.
The Prostate Gland (The Male G-Spot)
The prostate gland is the male version of the all-important and highly arousing women’s G-Spot. It is located up his bum; approximately 3” (8cm) inside the rectum on the front facing wall. Simply lube up your finger, slip it inside slowly and once you feel a raised bumpy area (larger in older men) motion forwards in a come to me kind of way; this should result in a deeply powerful sensation which on it’s own is capable of bringing a man to orgasm. See our Essential Guide to Anal Sex for more info. This isn’t a gay thing… it is a MAN thing. Once discovered, the prostate is NEVER forgotten!
TheNipples
Gently massage and kiss the chest all over - some men prefer firm contact and some prefer a lighter touch. Try concentrating on the nipples too but be gentle at first as it can be ticklish – applying pressure, pinching, twisting or enlarging the nipples can be highly erotic to some people but painful and uncomfortable to others. There are various types of nipple clamps available, ranging from weighted ones to adjustable ones to vibrating ones… These can be attached and left on so that all hands are free for other things. When aroused the nipples will stand fully erect due to healthy blood flow. If you or your partner have inverted nipples and wish to change this there are various nipple pumps available that come complete with tiny rubber rings that get put on the nipple once it’s been erected to help maintain it.
Further erogenous zones which aren’t considered ‘sexual’ are as follows:
The Lips and Mouth
Don’t just kiss, experiment with licking, sucking, caressing and tickling. Try teasing and flirting using your tongue, exploring the mouth deep and wide, hard and soft. Use foods, sauces or sweets. Blindfold your partner and kiss them all over their body. Be unpredictable!
The Head Face and Neck
Gently caress the head and face, kiss the eyelids, explore the ears with your tongue (very erotic!) and don’t forget the neck; kisses, gentle licks or even controlled nibbles are all highly arousing. Run your fingers through the hair, maybe puling gently on the hair at the same time – some people love this sensation whilst others can find it tickly or painful, so do check with your partner how she/he feels. Take your time – plan to spend some time getting to know what your partner likes and dislikes and then swap over - enjoy the sensations for what they are rather than as a build up to intercourse.
The Hands and Feet
Gently rub these areas using a lube or massage lotion, try a circular motion in the palm of the hand or the sole of the foot, try concentrating on the tips or on the ‘webbed bit’ in between the fingers and toes – it’s amazing how sensitive these areas are when you focus on them for a while. Try using a feather to tickle and tease or try blindfolding your partner whilst you then focus on their hands and feet. Some people love to have their fingers and toes gently licked or sucked - why not pour on an edible sauce and lick it off!
The Skin
This is the biggest erogenous zone of them all! Often easily overlooked, the skin is highly sensitive to touch – try kissing it, licking it, massaging it, nibbling it, eating off it (!) and just generally touching it! Try gentle soft strokes or firm, harder strokes, try using cold liquids and warm liquids to create different sensations on different areas of skin. Above all, touch it! Hug it! Enjoy it!
The PC Muscle
The P.C. (Puboccocygeus) muscles run from the pubic bone to the tailbone in both women and men, surrounding the genitals in a figure of eight (refer back to the diagram of internal organs, above). During arousal and orgasm the muscles naturally and involuntarily contract– if you can learn to voluntarily control and so strengthen the muscles you can greatly improve your sex life, the strength and duration of your orgasms and the enjoyment of your partner.
There are certain other areas/aspects that it is important to identify if you are to have a good basic understanding of how a man’s body works sexually:
To locate your PC’s try stopping the flow of urine when you pee – the muscles you use for this are your PC muscles. Once you’ve located them you can then start to exercise them and believe me you’ll wish you’d started doing this years ago once you start to feel the benefits! Simply squeeze your PC’s tightly - pulling upwards with your anal muscles too - then release them. Continue doing this for gradually longer periods and with greater intensity. Some people like to do it with the rhythm of their breathing; some do it whilst they’re sitting down, some whilst they’re waiting for the bus… The main thing is to do it a few times a day for a few minutes at a time. There are numerous benefits to having well toned PC muscles; increased blood flow to the area, therefore greater sensitivity and deeper sensations; toned muscles which are better able to transfer orgasmic ripples and which result in a stronger, more durable erection and stronger, deeper, longer orgasms with better potential for multiple orgasms.
To enhance the whole experience of enjoying your body we feel there are certain other points worth noting. We have put together what we consider to be the essentials:
Lubrication
Lubrication… lubrication… lubrication…oh yes! We believe that a good bottle of lube is a must have if you want to maximise on your pleasure potential. There are various different types of lube including waterbased, silicone and oil based – check out our ‘Essential Guide to Lubes’ for more information. You can use lubes for massage as well as for masturbation and vaginal or anal penetration. Basically, lube will allow things to be more slippery and therefore you (and your partner) will incur less friction upon penetration.
Vibrations
By ‘vibrations’ we don’t just mean sex toys, we’re talking about vibrations in general – from toys, from electric massagers, from vocals, from music, from movement, from physical exercise and from other peoples’ hands and bodies. The whole concept of using vibrations in sensual play makes so much sense to us and incorporating them into the whole body routine only adds to the pleasures experienced in sensual situations whether on your own or with a partner.
Think about it – here’s an analogy for you… if you imagine the body (male or female) as a whole network of inter-joining ‘rivers’ (veins), and imagine that these rivers don’t always run as smoothly or a freely as you would hope them to due to many blockages such as crumbling edges, toxins, thick gooey sludge and so on… Now, the blockages can’t be moved in one go as they can be fairly solid, but by constant gentle movement (vibrations) the large blockages break down into smaller more movable ones and will get carried away in the now more freely flowing stream. This analogy is relevant to your sensual enjoyment simply because it can help you to see the role vibrations of any sort can play in loosening up your body, your circulation and therefore your mind. Ultimately you will have more full body orgasms due to your internal networks being healthy, free-flowing and more communicative.
If you can imagine throwing a stone into the centre of a stagnant pond, the ripples created by the stone will only last momentarily before being absorbed by all the sludge – they certainly won’t make it to the edge let alone back again for a double whammy! Now compare this with throwing the same stone into a fresh, clear pond of the same size – the ripples will be bigger, more immediate, quicker and more likely to make it to the edge and back again. I guess I’m comparing the stagnant pond to an unhealthy body/unhealthy circulation, therefore if you can help your circulation via the use of vibrations (this includes physical exercise) then you can help boost the power and duration of your orgasms.
Masturbation
At Sinsin’s we are great advocates of masturbation; not only is it a fun and fulfilling pastime, it also enables you to get to know your body and it’s likes and dislikes – tips which in turn you can pass onto your partner. Try encouraging your partner to masturbate on their own and with you – this encourages openness and a deeper sense of intimacy and trust. See our ‘Essential Guide to Masturbation’ for more details.
Stimulate all the senses
Indulge your senses, all of them! It’s easy to forget about the senses of smell, sound, touch, taste and sight and to take them for granted. If you take time to think about the impact they can have on your experiences you will agree that without them life would be pretty dull. Why not make it your goal to incorporate all five of these senses into your general sensual routines and to maybe focus on one more than another at different times - all it takes is a bit of forward thinking and planning… the results will be worth it for everyone involved! Some people enjoy their partners speaking ‘dirty’ to them; why not give it a go! Also, don’t forget about the power of the mind; fantasies can be a great source of stimulation for many people. You can choose to share them with your partner or keep them to yourself, whatever suits you best. Massage is also an excellent way to stimulate your partner – this doesn’t necessarily mean sexually – it helps you get to know different parts of the body, to find out how your partner likes to be touched, to find out how to relax your partner and much more besides. You can combine a massage with aromatherapy oils; this way the sense of smell is being stimulated at the same time!
Change your routines
Too many people tend to stick to the same routines, the same times, the same positions and/or the same locations during sensual play. The trick is to learn to vary things a bit, be spontaneous at times but also have times where you plan carefully for your session, whatever it may be.
Brush up on your knowledge
Read books, or surf the Internet. At Sinsin’s we stock many different books which can help you understand the male body in more depth. Or else check out our links page for many useful and informative links that may help you learn about the male body.
This guide is for general information only. We are not health professionals, but we do care. Always consult a professional!